mow mow mow longcatasaurus

oxymoron

handshake tramp: subway on spare. with cardboard karleigh and breanna and whoever else we can round up with a car.
leggybowtwanger: you mean pirate ship
leggybowtwanger: and kidnap
handshake tramp: yes.
leggybowtwanger: then pillage the subway
leggybowtwanger: and rape the children
handshake tramp: could i have a chicken bacon ranch? "on what kind of bread?" "oh, just put it on my peg leg. yarrr."
leggybowtwanger: hugiyfutdyr
handshake tramp: "okay, should we charge you for a 6 inch or 12?"
handshake tramp: *MEASURING TAPE* yarrrr
leggybowtwanger: ugyftd
handshake tramp: "would you like to get a drink to make that a meal?" "YARRR RUM"
leggybowtwanger: hahahah
leggybowtwanger: "chips or cookies" "crackers, for me parrot"

TheSpiderPirates: for what?
handshake tramp: ffh.
TheSpiderPirates: oh
TheSpiderPirates: fffhhhhh
handshake tramp: fffffffffffffh *spittle*
TheSpiderPirates: hdfjadwret4ry
TheSpiderPirates: they have a song called "sweet virginia" and i read it as "sweet vagina" OH SWEET, VAGINA!
handshake tramp: OH, SWEET. VAGINA! ...*spittle*
TheSpiderPirates: ow i hurt myself laughing
TheSpiderPirates: my roommate and boyfriend prob think im retarded
TheSpiderPirates: since my door is open
TheSpiderPirates: FFFHHHH
handshake tramp: hJLKFJIFGj;kg
handshake tramp: that's also the sound of ryan ross running out of jetfuel midair.
TheSpiderPirates: HIOYRE649PTOWEKWDLS
TheSpiderPirates: GRJKDF
TheSpiderPirates: GINK
TheSpiderPirates: ES
TheSpiderPirates: TUMBLR THAT
TheSpiderPirates: RIGHT NOW
TheSpiderPirates: oh god
TheSpiderPirates: it hurts
handshake tramp: hdaflhkda
TheSpiderPirates: brian sploding of lolz
handshake tramp: BRIANSLKDFs
handshake tramp: BRIAN

leggybowtwanger: YOU'VE GOT MAIL. ANARCHY
handshake tramp: ANARCHY.. FROM THE UK! SIGN HERE PLEASE.
leggybowtwanger: THAT WILL BE $8 DUTY SURCHARGE FOR YOUR ANARCHY
leggybowtwanger: SIGN HERE PLEASE
leggybowtwanger: YOU COMMUNIST
leggybowtwanger: LOOK AT YOU PAYING THAT
leggybowtwanger: YOU CORPORATE PIG WITH YOUR JOB
leggybowtwanger: AND YOUR MONEY
leggybowtwanger: FUCK YOU
handshake tramp: NO, THIS SIGNING THING ONLY TAKES THE ELECTRONIC PEN.. NOT TATTOO GUNS.
leggybowtwanger: ONLY TAKES SPRAYPAINT
handshake tramp: "why is your package wrapped in flannel?"
leggybowtwanger: HOEIJFDKS
handshake tramp: WHY IS IT WRAPPED IN NECKBEARD
leggybowtwanger: WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE PABST AND IS SOMEWHAT HAIRY?
leggybowtwanger: WHY DOES YOUR PACKAGE HAVE REGRETTABLE ALK3 TATTOOS?
handshake tramp: HADLKHLDLD
handshake tramp: why is the return address written in GANG VOCALS?
leggybowtwanger: you've got mail. MUTINY!
eggybowtwanger: WHY DOES THE RETURN ADDRESS SAY "FUCK ROUTE 9"?
handshake tramp: no, 3oh!3 is not the appropriate way to write a zipcode, sir.
leggybowtwanger: 3O3 O3O
handshake tramp: HOH OHO
handshake tramp: PRESENTS. ANARCHY!
leggybowtwanger: FRAGILE PACKAGE: PUT THAT SHIT ON LOCK
handshake tramp: HADLKJKL
leggybowtwanger: ADDRESS: HOLLA HOLLA AT ME IF YOU OWN MY BLOCK

Sparkd ya: you hate flying more than busses?
handshake tramp: yes. buses don't scare me. flying makes me pee myself on the inside.
Sparkd ya: wat
handshake tramp: i hate flying. :(
Sparkd ya: at least your vagina doesn't bite through your pants when you're scared or something

handshake tramp: " Subject: Living With Lions On Tour IN THE STATES w/ The Wonder Years! "fuck you shitty local band NOT BRINGING THE WONDER YEARS TO MY LOCAL PANTS.
jacqueslecube: DLFKg
jacqueslecube: LION JUST MAKES ME THINK KEVDEV NOW
jacqueslecube: >:3
jacqueslecube: >:3
handshake tramp: LIVING WITH KEVDEV
jacqueslecube: JESUS CHRIST IT'S A KEVIN DEVINE GET IN THE BATMOBILE
handshake tramp: JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A PRETTY FACE
handshake tramp: I JUST MADE MYSELF LOL SO SO SO SO BAD
jacqueslecube: LOL
jacqueslecube: JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A PRETTY FACE GET IN THE BATMOBILE
handshake tramp: JESUS CHRIST THAT'S KEVIN DEVINE'S PRETTY LION FACE GET IN THE BATMOBILE
jacqueslecube: OR THAT

notsolaconic: I DEMAND EVERYONE REFER TO ME AS CHARLES THE ROCK HARD COCK FROM NOW ON

lintterman: we dont have flags
lintterman: we just get mail in them
handshake tramp: make a paper flag.
handshake tramp: i can't stop thinking MAKE AN ANTI-FLAG.
lintterman: YOU HAVE MAIL. ANARCHY!!!!!
omg angiepants: YOU HAVE MAIL, YOU CAPITALIST PIG. BET ITS CREDIT CARD BILLS. YOU DISGUST ME. FUCKING FASCIST.
omg angiepants: SPRAYPAINTS

tuesday ether: my dog doesnt like it when i make her wear a sock on her hand
or undressed: :|
handshake tramp: kiwi doesn't like wearing capes made out of ritz bits bags.
tuesday ether: HAHAHAHA
handshake tramp: and she doesn't like when i tape a "mom's best helper" ribbon to her head.
or undressed: butter only likes wearing this red ribbon thing with a bow but it makes her looks like a lesbian :-(
handshake tramp: she tries to eat it off.

nmbr5wthabulet: CELINE DION
nmbr5wthabulet: which is an anagram for NO DECLINE or DECLINE ON
tuesday ether: xstart the vanx has celine dion'd your chat invite, but your aim will go on